Engagement Photo Ideas for Evan and Sarah

The only thing more important than your marriage is your engagement. And the most important part of your engagement is your engagement photoshoot! Hi, I'm Caroline Drew, and I'm a seasoned engagement photoshoot photographer. If you - or any of your friends - are looking to memorialize the most important, most romantic, and (apparently) most artistically confusing part of your life, consider hiring me to get the job done! 

For reference, please see below the shot list from a recent job I completed for newly engaged couple, Evan and Sarah. Let me know if you have any questions! 

•        Sarah and Evan, smiling at each other
•        Sarah’s hand on Evan’s slightly ajar mouth
•        Just the feet, standing on train tracks
•       Just the feet, standing in a field of wheat
• Note to self, find field of wheat 
•        Evan carrying Sarah over pile of trash
•        Sarah puts finger/thumb in shape of L on forehead, Evan laughing because he gets it
•        Evan in warrior pose, Sarah doing a forward roll
•        Evan shaping Sarah’s eyebrows
•        Just the feet, standing next to a crime scene
•        Solo shot: Evan burning photos of ex-girlfriends
•        Sarah and Evan kissing in front of a family of squirrels
•        “Silly” shot: Sarah throwing her Samsung Galaxy Phone at Evan’s face
•        Evan going up a down escalator, Sarah giving the "A-OK" sign
•        Just the feet, standing on a valuable piece of art
•        Solo shot: Sarah sacrificing blood to the engagement ring
•        Sarah lying down, Evan pretending to stake a flag in her chest that reads “Just Like Ross and Rachel”
•        Foreground: Evan smiling; Background: Sarah eating a big ole meatball sub
•        Close up of scrabble letters spelling out “LOVE” with the ring as “O”
•        Close up of scabble letters spelling out “YOU LAUGH NOW BUT YOU HAVE TO BUY US PRESENTS SOON” with the ring somewhere nearby idk

Rapist Refuses To Be Defined By 20 Minutes Of Swimming

By Caroline Drew 

"I'm so much more than this."

These are the words of area man and known rapist - Jim Erikson - who, last week, was found guilty of swimming in a pond near his place of residence. Though there is no way to know how long exactly he swam, medical reports judge that his body was intentionally submerged for at least 20 minutes. 

Erikson was found by two out-of-town bikers. One commented, "There he was, in the water. Smiling and doing the backstroke. It made me want to throw up." 

Naturally, other members of the community had similar reactions.  The act of swimming has long been considered an offense against basic humanity (what are we, fish people?) and many are calling for Erikson's imprisonment. 

Others, however, are wary of passing judgement, largely due to Erikson's impressive raping record. 

Prior to the shameful act of swimming, Erikson was one of the area's premier rapists. In the past year alone, his assault victims include 40 women, 11 men, 3 dogs, and at least 1 birdhouse.  Erikson is also known for being particularly vicious and cruel in his attacks, an attribute which has lead to him being gifted a key to the city, as well as being named King of the "Grope Float" in the 4th of July parade. 

But is any of this enough to eclipse the fact that he has been convicted in a court of law for swimming - an act that only the most base and vile of humankind are willing to commit? 

Erikson's father, George Erikson, recently took to the internet to defend his now humiliated son, "20 years of doing some of the best raping this town has ever seen and this is how he's treated? No. He's lived too good a life - raped too many people - and I won't stand for it." 

Strong words from an impassioned father. But the logic remains that regardless of whether one swims for 20 minutes or for 20 years, you swam. And no amount of non-consensual sex can change that.