Prepping for Abroad

If you are connected with me on any sort of social media, then you know that I am spending my next semester of college in Prague.

Some of you might be thinking: What about people that are just connected with you in real life? Are you addicted to your computer? Are you one of those people who has weird yellow-y, translucent skin because you've replaced your time in the sun with time in front of fluorescent screens?

For the record, I am currently less pale than usual (not dark enough to say tan), and come on- who has face-to-face conversations these days? What is this, 2009?

But I digress.  I am studying abroad in Europe this fall and I want to make sure that come August I am ready to completely immerse myself into the Czech culture. As soon as I step off the plane, I will shrug off any traces of my American identity and become a Bohemian-chameleon.  I've heard many a tale about “rude, loud, obnoxious Americans” who study abroad.  Well, those students clearly didn't prepare like me. Every bit of my persona, from my lack of eye contact to my dark, leathery clothes, will mark me as one of them. Or, as I will soon be saying, one of us.

Hahahahahaha, sorry, I just started laughing because the idea of that happening is just silly. I am a born and raised American. I’m from Alabama, no less.  Europeans will be able to spot me from a mile away.  I don’t have enough black in my wardrobe to last me more than a couple of days.  As for being loud, I’m pretty sure my whisper is the equivalent of a European stage voice (“Say it like your grandmother is in the back row!”).

My inability to transform into a Euro-chic version of myself does not mean I will stomp around in neon colored overalls demanding a cheeseburger and fries...at least not unless I’m really hungry. It's just that people keep giving me tips on how to blend in, and let’s be honest: that’s a battle I’m destined to lose. 

I’ve tried this kind of thing before.  When I’m at school, I study at this coffee shop, Camino's, which is very hipster and trendy.  It is a hot spot for twenty somethings who wear those sock-like hats which hang a little off of your head (picture at bottom). I  often felt the judgmental stares radiating off of my non-ironic t-shirts. Finally, I decided to take destiny in my own hands. I arrived wearing skinny jeans, a flannel shirt, converse shoes, and had replaced my backpack with a side satchel.  Everything was working perfectly until my Mumford and Sons ringtone started blasting.  This was a dead giveaway. We all know that true hipsters will have nothing to do with Mumford. Nothing says “try-hard” like a bunch of guys with banjos wearing suspenders (Hey Mumford and Sons, I know you read this blog, and I just wanted to say I think you’re super talented and will continue to be a fan…until the Lumineers come out with another album).

The moral of the story is this: Don’t try to hide who you are, unless you’re good at it.  

I have heard about some American students who, whence studying abroad, will tell people they are Canadian.  I am a little tempted to try this out, but then not so much because this is how I imagine that conversation: 

Dominik: Hallo. I am Czech. Vhere are you from?

Me: Oh hello there! I’m actually from Canada. Better than the States, eh?

Dominik: I do not know about that but you seem nice. You and I vill be friends.

Me: Actually, I lied. I am American. But now you know how you really feel about me.

Dominik: So you’re a liar? Ve cannot be friends.

Dominik walks away.

Me: So just because I’m American you think it’s ok to be rude! Real mature you litte European-

Bystander: Think about it.

Me: ....ooooh. 

Bystander: Yep.

Me: Hey, do you want to be friends?

Bystander: Are you kidding me? You’re an American.

Bystander walks away.

And that  is why I'm studying abroad with other Americans. They have to like me. That's how it works. 

I promise, I will be trying to prepare myself for my five months abroad. I am starting to take Czech lessons soon, or as I refer to it, The Language Without Vowels. Wish me luck! Or as they say in Czech- Krfpst nvlyf ris*.

<< anyone else notice how hipsters wear these hats year round?

*Not real Czech

** did you notice I used the word ‘whence’ in this post? Intellectual is my middle name. Just kidding, my middle name is actually English Major with a Superiority Complex.