Local News Makeover

This summer, I am working part time as an intern at Starnes Publishing. Starnes Publishing produces five local newspapers (280 Living, The Homewood Star, Hoover Sun, Vestavia Voice, and Village Living) for the Birmingham area. 

As I’m only an intern, my job can consist of the more basic tasks such as copy editing or reformatting the upcoming Vestavia library events. But sometimes, I get to be the reporter (If I was a famous reporter my articles would have a spunky picture of me at the top with the tag line “She’s not afraid to go there”). My latest reporting assignment? I interviewed the owner of a new Italian restaurant in Hoover. Being on the field like that, with fancy camera and even fancier legal pad in tow…you just can’t put that kind of rush into words.

However, most people know nothing of the thrilling underbelly of the local news scene.  Sure, readers trust these newspapers to tell them about the high school girls’ soccer team winning state, but they don’t expect any shock value. This is ridiculous. Our publications may not report on world-wide affairs, but they do report on Birmingham suburbs.  Here’s some insider scoop for you: the streets of Birmingham suburbs are filthy…filthy with hard hitting news.

My internship has allowed me an in-depth look into the world of local news: there’s scandal, intrigue, and parenting advice.  Lucky for readers, I have some ideas of how to give them this same look into the real news of their neighborhood.

     1) Gossip Column: Naturally, this is at the top of my list.  Everyone knows that celebrity gossip can’t touch the scandalous lives of housewives.  Don’t believe me? Well my friends of The Real Housewives of New Jersey/Beverly Hills/New York, etc. beg to differ! A famous person might assault a paparrazi, O.D. on a drug you haven’t heard of, or marry someone half their age…but wouldn’t you rather read something like this?

Sources tell us that Gina Jones* was heard whispering (not so quietly) that the cookies Terri Henderson* brought to the PTA meeting were “definitely store-bought”, not homemade like Henderson claimed. Jones went on to say that she could “feel the processed food dye staining [her] teeth”; a close friend of Henderson’s commented that she would never lie about homemade desserts, adding “Gina's sweet and I've known her forever...but she shouldn't talk about Terri’s cooking when her pecan pie tasted like rubber cement.” The informant was made aware that her comment “rubber cement” makes no sense, but she neglected to revise her statement. Henderson could not be reached for comment (*Names have been changed for discretion). 

I don’t know about you, but People magazine seems incredibly boring all of a sudden.

     2) Political spotlights: This is technically already a feature in local news, but these reports only nibble at the personas of our local politicians. It’s time to take a bite out of community leaders and see what’s inside (Too far? I’m working on being “punchy” with my writing). Right now, we ask mayors and city council members questions like “What’s up with Mountain Brook’s new sidewalk plan?” and “What do you love most about Homewood?” Their answers are predictable and tell us nothing about their true personality as a local authority. “Well, I’d have to say that Homewood’s unique sense of community, blah, blah, blah, I'm not interesting, blah, blah, blah.” This is the kind of interview I’d like to see:

Village Living: Mayor Oden, tell us your stance on the campaign to invade Vestavia Hills.

Oden: Excuse me? Mountain Brook does not want to- I mean honestly, invade Vestavia, that’s just- why would- we couldn't- that’s ridiculous.

VL: You seem a little unsure of yourself.

Oden: What? No. No, I am sure. We would never, I repeat never, invade a neighboring community.

VL: So you’re stance is negative then?

Oden: …

VL: Mr. Mayor?

Oden: …

VL: Okay, I’m writing down that you are officially against all attempts to conquer Vestavia and claim it for the Villages of Mountain Brook.

Oden: I didn't say that.

VL: Now we’re talking.

You might be saying to yourself, “This is silly. Mountain Brook would never take over Vestavia. The suburbs of Birmingham aren’t in a constant, underground tug-of-war like battle for dominance.” …Or are they?

     3)Anti-Parenting Advice: Before my internship, I had no idea that parenting advice was a column included in local news publications.  I can’t say much about the merit of these articles as I am not a parent myself (take that teen pregnancy), but I have been a parentee. With this in my mind, my next idea would expand our audience out of the 35-75 year old female demographic by appealing to a younger set of readers.  For every parenting column, I propose there be an “Anti-Parenting” column to answer the needs of mischief-making adolescents.  Imagine articles such as “Blaming it on your Brother”, “Where to Hide your Alcohol: Better places than your closet” or “How to lie and not feel bad about it.” For this idea, I recruited local 16 year old, MK Turner, to give us a taste of what could be:

Cars: They Wreck Themselves

BY MK TURNER

Being 16 is hard enough, and then that wall had to come out of nowhere. Now you're sixteen and your car is totaled. 

We’ve all heard the stories, and for many of us, we are the story. Wrecking the car you’ve only been driving for 3 months totally sucks.  You don’t need a lecture from your parents to add to your misery. Just because they paid for the car, told you to drive the speed limit, and not to text and drive doesn’t mean they get to be all high and mighty.

My advice? Explain to them in a calm, mature way (You’re 16, not 6) how the car just like took control of itself. You didn’t wreck the car. The car wrecked the car. It’s just like your dad said, guns don’t kill people. People kill people. This is the same I think.

I can only assume there's a lot more of where that came from. 

These are just a handful of my ideas to bring the spark back to the local newspaper publications. For now, I’ll keep working at my intern post, doing my best to bring the real news to readers in suburban Birmingham.

Until next time,

Caroline “She’s not afraid to go there” Drew

(p.s. I am incredibly lucky to be working for Starnes Publishing and hopefully nothing in this post communicates otherwise!)