Phase One: Whoville
Location: Zermatt, Switzerland
Objectives:
- Hike on the trails of the impossibly beautiful, snowy alps (note: do not get distracted by the impossible beauty. This is not a "vacation," you are not to appreciate "beauty," or "have the time of your life"
- Eat fondue; potentially the alleged "champagne fondue" referred to by an online restaurant menu, more to follow on this matter
- reference How the Grinch Stole Christmas as much as possible. If snowfall occurs, the Who's Christmas song is not suggested, but required (note: Agent Stephens, if you still haven't memorized it by tomorrow, don't bother coming).
Phase Two: (the) Waffle ('s original) House
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Objectives:
- Eat ourselves into a waffle coma. Multiple times.
- Visit at least one palace and then claim it in the name of your commander (i.e. me).
- Eat more waffles.
Phase Three: Le Retour à Paris
Location: Paris, France
Objectives:
- Get lost in the gardens of Versailles. I know what you're thinking. The words "get lost" might seem counterproductive to the mission, but....okay, sure, this part is just for us. Agents need to have fun too.
- As per custom with operations at this sight, order then consume French Onion Soup (note: it will be referred to as simply Onion Soup on menus).
- Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT spend the hours of 2 am-5 am being unable to return home one night. This was not a productive experience in the original mission at this location.
We will regroup sometime between the 16th and 18th to evaluate the success of our mission.
p.s. Against all odds, the Lilting Banshees are still being completely hilarious without me there to contribute ("Hey guys! What if we do a Disney sketch??!!"). Watch and laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
p.p.s. Yes, all the phases include something about food. I recognize it, but I don't regret it.
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