Insta-Advice for the New Year

By Caroline Drew

The holiday season comes to a close tonight, but don't turn off your cameras just yet! 

New Years Eve will round up the 2013 holidays and as one final gift to you this year, this reporter has reached out to the one and only Gina Michaels. Michaels is a renowned Instagram expert, known especially for her work with holiday Instagrams. 

"There's never a more important time to pick a filter," reads the tagline for Michaels's consulting firm MerryHappy Instagram. 

"MerryHappy Instagram succeeds because it's the only company of its kind. My clients are hungry, hungry for guidance, and I'm there to feed them. I'm always there," said Michaels in her New York office with a slightly uncomfortable level of intensity. 

Michaels went on to reveal that she's currently working on a new project: a self-help book. When asked if this publication would render her consulting firm essentially useless, the question was ignored. 

Michaels was kind enough to share an exclusive look into her new book, If You Don't Share, Who Cares (About You), here in this article. Enjoy these excerpts from her chapter on New Years Eve Instagrams. 

CHAPTER 9, All That Glitter is Instagram Gold

It's New Years Eve and people should know about it. Like I've said in earlier chapters- if you don't post about holidays on Instagram, how else would your followers know what day it is? Follow these tips to start the year off with a bang (and 100+ likes)!

1) I Spy a New Year: All NYE instagrams must include at least two of these items: champagne bottle, champagne glass,  20__ glasses, confetti popper, noise maker, and sparkly dress

2) Festive Filter: Avoid filters designated for other holidays (i.e. Earlybird and Christmas, Hudson and President's Day) and stick to NYE favorites: Toaster, Lo-Fi, and-- if you feel up to the challenge-- Inkwell. 

3) Cheers to Being Popular!: Want to make your followers jealous in a passive aggressive way? The ultimate "I'm at a party and, oops, you're not here" post is one featuring you and the other guests holding your glasses up in the air together. Make sure to include candid laughing and do not forget to tag those in the post. This way, any sad lonely followers can actually see who is more popular than them. 

4) Hashtag Hazy: Don't be afraid of the blur option tonight. If you want to convey your slight, but not too heavy, NYE buzz I strongly encourague use of the blur. It gives off a fun, carefree, drinking vibe that guarantees some double taps.

5) Auld Lang Video: If you're a fan of the Instagram videos, tonight is your night. Don't waste it on popping bottles or stumbling around in your glittery heels. No, wait until the countdown to midnight. This countdown will fit easily into the 15 second limit (hello, just 10 seconds!) and will truly ease your transition into the new year.

NYE INSTA-DON'T

- If you're at home alone, do not post an poor-me-post of you and your cat wearing festive hats from the year before. Pity likes aren't likes at all. 

If You Don't Share, Who Cares (About You) will be available this March in stores near you. 

(p.s. I really, really hope everyone knows this is a joke. happy 'gramming friends!)

Where in the World is Caroline Drew

Well. Well, well, well. How to begin this post, where to start, hmmmm...

It's Saturday, December 14th. According to my schedule, I am home, still asleep in my own bed. My mom picked me up in Atlanta last night and though I was sad to leave Prague, it's nice to be back in Alabama. 

PLOT TWIST

Sorry about that, but like the KLM airlines, I enjoy a good surprise. I am not at home, asleep, or in my own bed. But Caroline if you aren't home...then...where are you? I am still in Europe, actually. This continent wasn't quite ready to let me go. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, this journey (or lack thereof) began yesterday morning in Prague...

• 9:35 am: Leave my dorm behind and travel to the Vaclav Havel international airport. 
• 10:00 am-12:00 pm: Reminisce about the semester in Prague, cry, eat airport food, buy trashy magazines, cry some more
• 1:00 pm: Find out our flight to Amsterdam is 50 minutes late. OH NO. 
• 3:00 pm: Board flight to Amsterdam, pray that the flight to Atlanta will also be delayed
• 4:00 pm: Pilot announces who will miss their connecting flights. ATL flight is the last one read. Accept that the world is a cruel place. 
• 4:30 pm-7:30 pm: Alongside Kirsten, Kelen, and Alex, discuss options with the employees of KLM airlines. Book 4 separate flights, and 3 different hotel rooms. Offered a complimentary overnight pack including, but not limited to, a toothbrush, t-shirt, socks, and razor (score!). 
• 8:00 pm: Arrive at the elegant Ibis Hotel. Retrieve free food voucher at the Caribbean Restaurant (note: the Caribbean should maybe consider changing its name to the more accurate "Middle School Lunch Room" as the food was hard to define and all the cool kids sat at the corner table).  
• 9:00 pm: After being told the free drink voucher only works at the Caribbean, decide to buy ourselves a real drink at the fancy "we're not stranded passengers" bar. Receive dirty looks from other patrons. 
• 9:30 pm: Realize it is Friday the 13th. Understand irony to the fullest. 
• 10:00 pm: Retreat to our rooms to watch a movie. 
• 10:15 pm: Fall asleep. 

8:00 am: Wake up, put on the same clothes from the day before and head back to the airport BECAUSE TODAY WE WILL GET HOME. WE WILL. WE WILL. WE WILL. WE WILL. 

My favorite part of yesterday happened at the KLM transfer desk. 17 of us were attempting to reroute ourselves after missing our flight to Atlanta. A midst the tired voices of travelers trying to get home and those of weary employees who clearly have the worst job in the world, came this exchange: 

"Is that really all you have?"
"Yes I am sorry, sir. We can get you to Paris tonight, but it will be a middle seat." 

A middle seat??? He's not an animal!!! Have some common decency KLM!!!

And now, I sit here in the Amsterdam airport, and it's really not that bad. I have The Office to watch, Bridget Jones's Diary to read, and chocolate to eat/OD on. 

If I don't make it back to the States, send your questions to KLM airlines. Be aware that they will delay your question for about an hour, then cancel your question, ask if you would mind holding your question for the night and then try figuring out an answer for your question tomorrow night. 

The Drew Family Now Owns a Sword

The rumors are true. My family came and went from Central Europe without any arrests or serious injuries. High five! 

What? Those weren't the rumors you were thinking of? Let me clarify: I did not mean to make you think that that girl was pregnant, or that that couple broke up, or that we all secretly talk about how we don't like you when you're still in the room by referring to you as "Cindy" instead of your real name. Those are all just rumors (gahhhh Cindy is sooo paranoid...).

In Budapest we toured churches, synagogues, and national monuments. We went to a wine tasting and sampled local specialties. My favorite part, however, was swimming in the famous Szechenyi baths. Essentially large outdoor pools, the baths are kept full by nearby thermal springs. Locals and tourists come to socialize, play chess, and enjoy the warm water. 5 members of my family really liked the baths. 1 of us wasn't too happy...let's take a trip back to that night and listen to some of the conversation, shall we?

Caroline: This is fun! Look at those old guys playing chess.
Mama: I just loooove being so warm. It is bitter here y'all. But this is niiiice.
Caroline: I wonder if I should go ask to play
Mark: Tillman don't splash me. 
Tillman splashes Mark
Mama: Mmmm so hot. I'll tell you somethin', if I lived in Hungaria, I would come here every day. 
Mark: It's called Hungary, Mama.  
Mallie: Tillman! If you're going to splash him don't get it near me. 
Caroline: Me either. And hey, I don't really know how to play chess, one of y'all should go ask to play with those old people.
Dad: This is the most disgusting thing we've ever done. 

Perhaps you've read a previous post of mine "Emotions with Dad." If so, you already know that my father can be like a used butter knife: blunt (does that metaphor work? Yeah, it worked. It totally did). Something you may not know however, is that he's not the biggest fan of germs or large masses of people. 

Now remember that we were in a warm pool full of hairy European men wearing speedos.  

Other quotes from Papa Drew include: 
"I feel like I'm catching diseases standing in this."
"Caroline, tell your mom you want to leave."
"Why would people come to this thing?"
"Alright gang, time to go." (said after 5 minutes in the bath)

Don't worry, we stayed for an hour and a half. Thanks Dad!!

Even better than exploring Budapest was having my family in Prague.  Getting to share this city with them meant a lot to me, but because you'd rather hear about our weirdness than my sappy emotions (whatever, I don't want to know about your feelings either) I'll focus on that. 

Tillman bought a sword. A full length sword. He thought it would fit in his suitcase. Guess what? That thing wouldn't fit in a golf bag. Now I get to figure out how to ship the weapon home. Which means I get to walk through Prague with a sword. Fear me peasants!!

I took my family to NYU open mic night where we all got to feel bad about how non-musically inclined we all are. One of the acts wasn't musical, though. It was my friend Nathan doing stand up and he was great. He was also pretty...colorful at times. My mother's response: "I thought he was cute! But I didn't get all of it. I'm going to have to ask your dad what some of that stuff meant later."

The boys ditched their khakis, sperries and polos for dark jeans, converse-esque shoes, and hoodies. My dad, on the other hand, sported his ever fabulous snap-away pants. You know, the kind that can become shorts with just a tug on the lower leg? Sorry for being a fashionable family. 

I really should get back to studying and if I write my Goodbye Prague post right now I'll get tears in my hot chocolate. And you know what they say: "There's no use crying into good chocolate*."

They used to say "There's no use crying over spilled milk," but realized this was an erroneous statement unless you're some fancy rich person who buys milk in bulk. "Did you see Dave's fridge? Packed with milk. He must be doing well." 

The Beatles Took This Quiz and You Should Too

As I write this I am listening to the Beatles. Because I'm controversial and feel like stirring things up-- what if One Direction is just The Beatles of our generation? This makes sense I think. I mean, both are bands made up of British guys (that blonde kid still counts) and they sing love songs and get girls all excited. Maybe, MAYBE, the members of One Direction are just the members of the Beatles reincarnated! Sure, not all the Beatles are dead, but who knows how reincarnation really works, right? What I'm trying to say is that the Beatles's music and One Direction's music are pretty much on the same level and no one can argue with that. 

....Alright now that many of you have left this page in a fury, ready to write me an angry email (see bottom of the post), let's talk less about music icons and more about me!! I'm not a music icon, but I am a...me...icon. #nailedit

Fall break was a blast and I could spend hours typing out tales of adventure and whimsy, but these abroad blog posts are getting a little too easy for you readers.

Q: Shouldn't you have to work for such precious information? (A: yes). 

That's right, you're taking a quiz. It's not a test, it's only a quiz. It won't decide your grade or anything so keep your pants on. Plus this quiz is colorful so you know I'm a cool teacher.  

QUIZ: WHAT'D I DO ON FALL BREAK/what's your spirit animal

1. Caroline ate all of the following foods in the Swiss Alps; however, which was her favorite?
• a) escargot
• b) lamb entrecôte  
• c) champagne fondue
• d) twix candy bar
2. If Caroline was in Brussels for two days and there is an endless amount of waffles and if the trains arrive at whatever time they want to, how many waffles did Caroline eat?
3. Caroline put a lock for her parents on the love lock bridge in Paris. What date did Caroline write on the lock? (i.e. what is her parents' anniversary)
• a) May 27, 1985
• b) May 25, 1987
• c) May 25, 1997
• d) May 23, 1987
4. At what point did Caroline realize the flight she booked to take her back to Prague at the end of the week was for the wrong date?
5. How much did it snow whilst Caroline frolicked in the mountains of Zermatt?
• a) a whole lot
• b) 10 inches
• c) 14 inches
• d) it didn't snow...(don't be dumb and choose this, of course it snowed)

Answers: 1.a but consolation prizes to the other answers because they were all delicious, 2. 3 (not so impressive, I know), 3. trick question, they were married on d, but I accidentally wrote b. But whatever because marriages don't really count until they've lasted for 2 days. 4. The day before I needed to leave! ha! ha! ha! (tears on the inside), 5.a. What do I look like, a snow ruler? I can't estimate these sorts of things! I'd never seen so much snow in my life! 

If you got a perfect score your spirit animal is a white tiger. If you got less than a perfect score you don't get a spirit animal because you don't matter. 

Fall break was like a peanut butter sandwich where the peanut butter is exciting new experiences and the jelly is pure exhaustion. The Sunday after I returned to Prague I slept until 4:15 pm. No regrets. Tune in next post to hear about MY FAMILY VISITING because that crazy crew is meeting me in Budapest this Saturday!

And now, so you won't have to, an angry email to me about the first paragraph of this post:

Dear Caroline, or should i say idiot,

do u have ANY idea what u just did? u couldnt be more DUMB. the beatles are literally the best band ever and one direction is stupid and gay and not even real music. if i had a one direction cd (which i don't because they sux) i would break it on ur face. dont ever talk about music on the internet again. also i like this blog a lot. wow is it fun to read. 

Operation Fall Break

Alright men (and women-- equality, yo) Operation Fall Break commences in less than 10 hours. It's time to review the objectives of our mission. Pay attention because this next week might just be the most important of your life

Phase One: Whoville

Location: Zermatt, Switzerland

Objectives: 
- Hike on the trails of the impossibly beautiful, snowy alps (note: do not get distracted by the impossible beauty. This is not a "vacation," you are not to appreciate "beauty," or "have the time of your life"

- Eat fondue; potentially the alleged "champagne fondue" referred to by an online restaurant menu, more to follow on this matter

- reference How the Grinch Stole Christmas as much as possible. If snowfall occurs, the Who's Christmas song is not suggested, but required (note: Agent Stephens, if you still haven't memorized it by tomorrow, don't bother coming). 

Phase Two: (the) Waffle ('s original) House

Location: Brussels, Belgium 

Objectives: 
- Eat ourselves into a waffle coma. Multiple times. 

- Visit at least one palace and then claim it in the name of your commander (i.e. me). 

- Eat more waffles. 

Phase Three: Le Retour à Paris

Location: Paris, France

Objectives: 
- Get lost in the gardens of Versailles. I know what you're thinking. The words "get lost" might seem counterproductive to the mission, but....okay, sure, this part is just for us. Agents need to have fun too. 

- As per custom with operations at this sight, order then consume French Onion Soup (note: it will be referred to as simply Onion Soup on menus). 

- Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT spend the hours of 2 am-5 am being unable to return home one night. This was not a productive experience in the original mission at this location. 

We will regroup sometime between the 16th and 18th to evaluate the success of our mission. 


p.s. Against all odds, the Lilting Banshees are still being completely hilarious without me there to contribute ("Hey guys! What if we do a Disney sketch??!!"). Watch and laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4puv0SkzTGA

p.p.s. Yes, all the phases include something about food. I recognize it, but I don't regret it.

Most Things Taste Better Than Skinny Feels

The calendar and I are in a fight. The calendar wants to say that it's almost November, but I'm pretty sure that it's only late September.

Spoiler: the calendar is going to win. 

As it tends to do, time has started moving at hyper speed. Time is like a hamster: strolling along on its wheel until you look away for one second; then, it uses its tiny legs to spin that thing like a race car tire. I cannot believe I have only around 6 weeks left in Prague. Franz Kafka once said, "Prague never lets you go. This dear little mother has sharp claws." There is actually no better way for me to put that. It's absolutely true. 

Instead of getting depressing, I'll fill you in on my ever-so-enchanting life in the dear little mother that is Prague. 

This past Monday, October 28th, we didn't have classes! We weren't celebrating Cristopher Colombus or laborers; however, this holiday is the Czechoslovak Independence day.  For anyone confused, there is no Czechoslovakia anymore, but the Czechs still celebrate like it's 1918!!!  And how did we celebrate? We went to Plzen, of course. 

If you have heard of Plzen, color me impressed. Pre-abroad, if I was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and the final question was "Where is Plzen?" or "What is Plzen?" or "Is Plzen a real thing?" I would have either lost or won $1,000,000 solely on luck. Plzen is a town about an hour and a half outside of Prague. It has a beautiful church, a historical underground, and (our favorite part) the Pilsner Urquell brewery. 

Now that I have toured the Heineken brewery in Amsterdam and the Pilsner brewery in Plzen I think it's safe to say that my beer knowledge has gone from about a -4 to a 5 or even 6. Touring the breweries have actually been one of the more enjoyable "touristy" activities we've done (informative and fun?? Is this a School of Rock Video or a brewery tour??).

We also celebrated the Independence Day by treating ourselves to large amounts of tasty Czech food. I realized a while ago that Czech food should probably be a rare occurrence in my diet, lest I wish to roll onto the airplane and deal with heart problems later in life.  American chef, Anthony Bourdain, once referred to Prague as "Porkopolis .The land vegetables forgot."  So one hand, Czech food is not good for you. But on the other hand, it's delicious. Besides, how I am going to disprove the "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" idea unless I frequently eat all the food which tastes so much better than skinny feels (or at least, how I assume skinny feels).  

Note: I really do think "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" is one of less intelligent sayings I've ever heard. In fact, I think almost the opposite is true: "Most things taste better than skinny feels." Now that's a quote I could get behind.  So take that, healthy eaters! You can keep your vitamins, and lack of health issues, and muscles and...you know what, I'll just stop there. 

Obviously you are reading this very closely, possibly committing it to memory, and noticed that I mentioned Amsterdam earlier. That's right, two weeks ago I traveled to the Netherlands to see the sights. When I first told my mom I was going to Amsterdam she responded "Caroline. Did you know they sell legal pot brownies there??" She then went on to ensure that I would be careful to inspect any chocolate I was buying for possible drugs. 

Besides crumbling up chocolate bars in search of marijuana, we also visited the Heineken brewery, the Red Light district, and Anne Frank's house. We also saw some of the city by water when we took a canal tour. The Red Light district was easily one the more depressing streets I've walked on, but besides that Amsterdam was a beautiful place. The leaves had just changed and with all of the canals and old architecture there was never a loss of potential kodak moments. In my mind, Amsterdam felt like a wonderful combination between Paris and Venice (for anyone who thinks is totally off, you're probably right, but I just felt that way OKAY??). 

This week I look forward to Wake friends visiting and, of course, HALLOWEEN! Who cares if Czechs don't really celebrate it, I'll take any excuse to wear a costume and buy myself value size bags of candy. 

Walt Disney High School To Be Investigated

By Caroline Drew

The Walt Disney company is one of the United States's most successful and loved institutions, but what about Walt Disney high school? 

Located in an ambiguous, though relatable, mid-west town, Walt Disney High School is now under inspection for its less conventional academic environment.  U.S. Department of Education representative, Rhonda Fintz, explained some of the concerns.

"WDHS simply doesn't meet the requirements of a modern, American high school," commented Fintz. "For one, there is a 100% graduation rate, but only 2% of these students go on to achieve college degrees." 

Students at graduation; ready for the realistic career as a pure, motivated pop star

This surprising statistic checks out. Apparently, the entire student body does in fact walk at graduation, but most transition directly from high school to seeking entertainment careers. These include, but are not limited to: DJ with a vision, respectful-of-girls boy band, don't-need-boys girl band, and passionate hip hop dancer. 

The 2% who do attend college or university are no more conventional than the other 98% of their classmates. They all attend Walt Disney University for Nerds which boasts of only one academic department: Useless (but fun!) Robot and Invention Design. 

In addition to their lack luster college attendance rate, WDHS also employs a social caste system. 

"People are so touchy about the phrase 'caste system' nowadays," chuckled WDHS choir director, Mr.Cool Jeans. 

"It's just a simple way for us to organize the kids into the correct... circles. There are the populars, the drama kids, the jocks, the nerds, the teachers' pets, and the one group of 3-4 that you're obviously supposed to like the most." 

"We're quirky but accessible!"

He went on to insist that social mobility is possible within the caste system, "If you take off your glasses, who knows what could happen! 

After visiting the school, however, it was clear to this reporter that the "caste" system was less of a social organization and more of a costume assignment. All students, no matter if they were in varsity jackets or sweater vests, broke out into choreographed song and dance numbers throughout the day. 

"No, those dances are not choreographed," protested Mr.Cool Jeans. 

They are. 

A much too common in-class dance number

Fintz defended further the Department of Education's investigation, "Unlike most schools in the US, the arts program at WDHS is ridiculously too high. $3,000,000 is spent on the spring musical each year alone." 

Other issues to be evaluated are no less strange. For example, there are the extremely loud ticking clocks, the presence of film crews on campus, and the frequent playing of a laugh track over the loud speakers.  

"And, of course, we don't want people to think this inspection is about the proactive diversity policies at WDHS," noted Fintz, "but it just seems a little...too aggressive." 

In order to ensure diverse social groups, WDHS requires each student to provide evidence of at least one best friend of a different race. 

"It's not that we don't like each other," said Maria Sanchez of her 'best friend' Jill Brown. "And it's not that she's white! It's just... we have nothing common. And she always smells like the pizza sauce you get in lunchables." 

Mandated Interracial WDHS friendship

Famous WDHS alums outraged at the impending investigation include: The Jonas Brothers, Raven's red haired friend, animated Lizzy McGuire, and Cody (not Zack). 

Why the Government Shut Down As Told By Ginger

Sorry to disappoint, but this post is not actually about the details of the government shutdown as explained by our favorite cartoon redhead. And if you do not get the "As Told By Ginger" reference, you should probably go to YouTube right now and memorize the theme song.

In reality, I decided on that title mainly because I wish that Ginger would explain the shutdown to me. I think she would present the facts in an unbiased, straightforward manner and I appreciate that in a person. Also, if Ging had talked to me about this whole ordeal, I wouldn't have felt like an idiot finding out about it on twitter this morning. On a scale of 1-10, how sad is it that I see a new Miley Cyrus video within the hour of it premiering, but it takes me a whole day to hear about my government shutting down? We're thinking like a 7, right?

Ah, but I digress. Let's get to what you really want to hear about- ME AND MY ADVENTURES ABROAD! (cue crowds cheering, confetti flying, and super manly men allowing themselves to wipe a single, joyful tear from their eyes)

Ok, ok, here we go. It's time to talk about Oktoberfest. 

Oktoberfest was by far the most fun party I have ever been to in my life. This means that it tops my 4th grade surprise + limo party, so yeah, wrap your head around that one. Here's a rough itinerary of our first day at the fest:

6:30 a.m.- Wake up, get ready, feel incredibly tired and wonder if it's worth it.
7:30 a.m.- Arrive at tent and get in line. Say hello to long-lost Wake friends, but still feel really tired.
9:30 a.m.- Remain standing in line. Try to make puppy-dog eyes at the guards behind the door to see if they will pity you and let you in. This does not work, but this is most likely because your puppy-dog eyes look more like creepy-girl-who-frowns-weird eyes.
10:00 a.m.- YOU'RE IN THE TENT! RUN TO TABLES AND CLAIM THEM IN THE NAME OF WAKE FOREST!!
10:15 a.m.- Start drinking your first liter of beer. (Note: you are too excited to think about the fact that it is only 10:15 a.m.)
10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.- Drink more beer, eat pretzels and doughnuts, talk to old friends, make new friends, and take 1000 pictures.
2:00 p.m.- Make your way back to the hotel for a much needed power nap.
8:30 p.m.- Wake up, go find some Chinese food and try to readjust your internal clock.
11:00 p.m.- Go to bed with visions of steins dancing in your head.

I realize the above schedule may not sound like the best party imaginable, but (yep, I'm going to say it) I guess you had to be there!

Disclaimer: "I guess you had to be there" is, in my opinion, one of the most annoying things you can say to a person. That, "Can't say I didn't warn you!" and "Oooo Sorrrry" during the game of Sorry, should all be reserved for the worst kind of people.

Other things going on in my life
Hmmm...other things happening besides Oktoberfest....ummmm

School: Contrary to what my facebook might look like, I do go to class here. Annnnd that's probably all I have to say about that! Academia!! Woo!
Travelling: Like I said in my last post, I am headed to Paris this weekend! For those of you who don't know, Paris and I are very close friends who haven't seen each other for 3 years. We are so excited to reunite and share a bowl of french onion soup, we almost can't stand it.
Phone: I have a new phone! I felt a little bit like Odysseus trying to get to it, but after a 45 minute cab ride, walking through 3 deserted parking lots, trekking through the FedEx international warehouse (warehouse, not store) I finally got to it! And yes, I do think comparing that journey to the Odyssey is an adequate parallel.
Internship: Last week, I officially started my journalism internship with the New Presence publication. After an hour long meeting, myself, the 2 other interns, and our director, Gerald (60 year old British man) went out for drinks. Apparently, this is key to the journalistic process and we are required to do this each week...but don't feel bad for me, I think I can handle it.

Something about the United States
That's right, I haven't forgotten about you, homeland! And I certainly haven't forgotten about my funny friends at Wake Forest, the Lilting Banshees. For those of you who don't know, this is Wake Forest University's sketch comedy troupe and they just put up videos from the last show! Only watch if you want to laugh. I mean it, if you don't like laughing, are allergic to laughing, or are afraid of laughing then this is not for you. Otherwise, enjoy! CLICK HERE AND START YOUR LOLLER COASTER


p.s. The rhyming bit at the end of the itinerary inspired me and I couldn't help myself. Here's a reward for anyone who's actually read this far:

Twas the Night After Oktoberfest 

Twas the night after Oktoberfest and all through the hotel
People were passed out, (Of sausage and pretzels, they smelled)
Earlier they had drank around 5 liters of beer
Some even on tables, while everyone cheered

But now they were nestled, all snug in their beds
While visions of steins danced 'round in their heads
With one day now past, and one day still to come
The Wake Forest students were anything but glum

The next morning, many alarms went off with a clatter
They all sprang from their beds, to address the fest-matter
To the tents they all went, and were there in a flash
Once inside they rejoiced and to the tables the dashed

It was a new day with new things in store!
Drinking, singing, dancing galore!
Though some deacons returned home, before we reached noon
Others of us made it all the way until 2!

Sadly, but truly the day had to end
And tomorrow the students would say goodbye to their friends.
Though always they'd keep, deep in their chest
The sweet (maybe hazy) memories of Oktoberfest

More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About Me Being Abroad

Attention everyone: I have officially been abroad for an entire month!  There's so much to share, but in the interest of saving some stories for my future collection of memoirs (potentially entitled Carolife), I'll stick to the highlights.

I left Prague

Though Prague will always have my heart, I have spent two adventure filled weekends travelling! My first trip away was to a little town called Vienna-- I'm not sure if you've heard of it. It's just this little village in Austria, pretty underground. Anyways, we had a great time eating schnitzel off of a sword and touring the grounds of Hapsburg Palace. Maybe it was the hundreds of rooms, or the painted ceilings, or the sprawling gardens out back, but I have decided that palace life would suit me.  

This trip, as it was the first one planned by just us (no NYU help), also helped us to learn some travel lessons...the hard way. For example, I learned that if you are going into a restaurant to ask for directions, make sure your friends know you are going to ask for directions. Otherwise, you will emerge from the restaurant alone in a foreign city. Then you might call your friends and none of them will pick up. Then you will spend a little time sitting on a park bench thinking to yourself, "Well...sorry, Mom and Dad..."

The next trip was to Brno. Brno is the second largest city in the Czech Republic, but it is not big enough to have a metro. This was an NYU planned trip, and the RA leader, Filip,  informed us that a fun way to be Prague bully is to say "Kde je tady metro?" or "Where is the metro here?" This is considered to be a sick burn. If you ever go to Brno, only use this if you're trying to fight. 

We visited many beautiful sights in Brno including caves, churches, and catacomb-like cemeteries underground. This was my first venture into wine country so of course we tried the wine. I still am not a wine fan myself,but I loved this drink called borcak. It is a not-quite fermented wine that tastes like a sweeter apple juice. It's a seasonal drink and it's not found many places outside of the good old Czech Republic so come visit me fast if you want to have a taste!

As for me and this whole "beer country" "wine country" thing, I'm still looking for champagne country. Yes, I realize there is a city in France called Champagne where actual Champagne is served, but I'm looking for a whole country. This is my Narnia and I know that someday I will open a closet and find it waiting for me there. Also, where would America fall in this whole "(insert alcohol here) country" scheme of things? Just the University scene alone could hold many titles: i.e. "Natty Light Country" "High-C + liquor Country" or "Whatever Someone Legal Will Buy Me Country." 

Other Little Notes

• Pocket Picked: If you're one of the few people who doesn't follow my facebook statuses religiously, you don't know that my phone was stolen. This was definitely the low point of my time abroad and I reacted by buying myself a trdelnik. This is a massive, sugar-coated pastry which probably shouldn't be eaten on the metro. But I do what I have to do for comfort food. 

• I am great for party jokes: No, I don't mean I tell great party jokes, I mean that stories of my life are  great material for other people to use. I told my Czech professor how I ordered onion soup and dumplings at a Czech restaurant one night and he started dying out laughing. Apparently, you would never order dumplings without a meat or a sauce. After laughing for another good 5 minutes, he asked me if he could tell that story to his friends. Next class, he told me how he ended up sharing the story with an audience at one of his band's concerts and how everyone laughed and laughed and laughed...I guess I'm glad I could help?

• Je suis française?:  I have now on 5 different occasions been mistaken for a French person. The most recent one was today on the metro. This confirms one of two theories: Southern Americans are actually the most worldly of Americans or I was French in a past life and mes compatriotes sense this. There's no way to know for sure, so let's just go ahead and say both are true.

• NYU people love me: This is 100% true and not at all an exaggeration. I'm sure my NYU friends will see this and think to themselves "Wow, that is true! Caroline is the best!" In all seriousness, it has been fun comparing the back-home University lives of Wake Forest versus NYU. They are used to public transportation and living in apartments. I'm used to walking 6 minutes tops to get anywhere and living in a space roughly the size of a large walk-in closet. Also, for my friends at home- don't worry- it only took the NYU people two weeks to start saying "Oh, wait, are you in a comedy troupe or something?" every time I tell a joke. 

What's Next? 

Going abroad is like taking 10 years of amazing life experiences and cramming them into one semester. Up next on my agenda is Munich for Oktoberfest, Paris for Tillman Hamilton's birthday (!!), Switzerland for some hiking, and more! 

Finally, if you read nothing else but want to feel honest when you tell me "I read your blog! Looooved it! Sounds like you're having the best time" just read this: 

I am having the time of my life. I live in what I consider to be the best city in the world with some of the best people. I eat great food, I see spectacular sights, and I am (promise, Mom and Dad) learning both academic and real-life lessons. If you're stateside or somewhere else in Europe, know that I miss you dearly and an email is always welcome and wanted! 

Alright, time to study for my Czech test now! Or as they would say in Czech....okay, fine, I can't translate that much yet. But I can say "One hot chocolate please," so I think I'm doing alright. 

Why I Will Buy You A Beer In Prague And Other Fun Facts

First off, let me just say I am extremely proud to be pioneering the first ever college student study abroad blog! It's a lot of responsibility and even a little scary, but I dare to rise to the occasion.

Moving on, I have now been in Prague for 3 days, but it feels like a month (note: is this how dogs feel all the time?). In my short stay I have learned quite a few lessons, seen quite a few sights, and heard quite a few stories that I promise are real. 

I present to you (in no particular order) 

Caroline and Prague: A Love Story in 14 Parts

1) Everything is dirt cheap. If you come to Prague, I will not hesitate to buy you your first beer. Maybe because a pint costs $2. Or maybe just because I like you, you choose. 

2) There are pups everywhere. I forget the statistic, but the Czech Republic is one of the top countries for dog owners. My favorite dog sighting so far has been an 8 week old pug.  I was going to play it cool and admire the dog from afar,but it told me with its eyes that it loved me and wanted me to pet it so what else could I do??

3) Czech people know who Forrest Gump is. Or at least, three of them do. The owners of aforementioned 8 week old pug were excited to hear I was from Alabama. They asked me, "So you know foreestgoomp?" After repeating for several times, I finally understood what they were saying. I'm not sure if they realize Forrest Gump is a fictional character, but I didn't want to ruin it for them (if only my 4th grade classmates had felt the same way about me and Santa Claus). 

4) One guy in Prague is super important. Alright fine, there's more than one. But if you're the one and only guy who knows how to repair the 600 year old clock tower in old town, well, you're pretty much an ultimate VIP. It's the only 600 year old clock tower around and those are hard to replace these days. Wal Mart is always out.

5) Want a Thai Massage? I have seen at least five thai massage venues since arrival. What's odd is that they keep their doors wide open so you can actually see the patrons get their massage a la Thailand.

6) The clergy used to #rage.  Jan Hus, a famous Czech Protestan Martyr, began his criticism of the Catholic church because the nuns and monks in the C.R. were partying way too much. In college terms, the nuns and monks were essentially the sororities and frats of their time. I bet they had a sick robe bro's and habit ho's mixer.

7) I am more naive than I thought. And I already thought I was pretty naive. Today, I decided to order what I thought would be hot apple cider, as it was a little chilly outside. Instead, I received a cold, sweet, alcoholic drink at 12 pm. Now my NYU classmates probably think that I (Ron Weasley voice) need to get my priorities straight. 

8) NYU loves orientation. If you go to NYU in the states, you get one heck of an orientation show. Lucky for me, we were able to watch clips of the on stage production which NYU puts on each year. I enjoyed the skit which assigned a dance move to types of sexuality ("If you're transgender do the blender!") and the song which explained the negative effects of marijuana ("My life is puff-puff passing me by-y-y"}. 

9) The Beatles really matter. I mean really. There's more reasons than this (hello Lennon Wall), but something I found interesting today was this: our tour guide, who lived through the communist regime, explained that many young people taught themselves the banned English language so that they could understand what "those beautiful boys" were singing about. 

10) There's a 5th avenue. That's right, in the middle of a bunch of street names that sound to Americans like Russian mafia members, you can find 5th avenue.  It sports stores such as Cartier, Fendi, and Jimmy Choo. #1 does not apply to this street. 

11) Czechs won't think I'm funny. We have been informed that the Czechs generally have a "dark, ironic sense of humor." That being said my "What a pirate's favorite letter joke" may not work on them. The only thing that has made locals laugh has been my incompetence with public transportation. But hey, they laughed!

12) I should not be scared of the metro. The metro is my friend, not food....wait, no, it was never food. It was scary to me though. Thankfully, after rushing to catch the last metro of the night with my friend Kelen, making it in time, then thinking we got on the wrong train, and being on the right one, I realized this public transportation thing might not be so bad. 

13) CZECHS ARE QUIET. This is huge, especially in our dorm's neighborhood. People talk in low voices, if they talk at all. Want to find the NYU kids in Prague? Just follow that one conversation you're hearing. For Czechs, being quiet is a serious issue- so serious that they made a law about it. From 10 pm-8 am they have legally enforced quiet hours. It's an RA's dream. 

14) My Tour Guide today had some cool stories. Probably in her early 70's, our tour guide is an also an NYU professor who lived through the communist regime. When she was my age she was protesting communism by lying in front of Soviet tanks. Each year while she was teaching in the 80's, she was forced to show her students a movie about the bolshevik revolution. When the lights went off, they would light up. So yes, I am saying she and her students got high every time they had to watch the propaganda film. The only protesting I've ever done was to obtain 75 signatures appealing to my mom on unfair punishment (grounded for one night) so yeah I think I can relate.

I've learned lots more, but that's enough for tonight! 

p.s. if this was strictly a blog for my time abroad here's some names I came up with:

Czech Me Out, I'm Abroad!
Playing Czechers And Writing A Blog
The Banana (Czech) Republic
Czech Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
Tongue In Czech

Pretty good right??

Betraying My Younger Self

 If you didn't read "The Ex-Annex Plan Makes Everyone Angry" here's a quick recap: along with friends, my high school self drafted a document proposing the "ex-annex" of 25 states.  It is without a doubt the most controversial piece I have ever written. It is my Leaves of Grass, my Huckleberry Finn.

That, however, was not my writing debut. Long before I was 17 and edgy, I was a cute little kid keeping journals, writing anything and everything that came to my cute little mind....alright, fine. Maybe "cute" isn't exactly the word for it....ok, moving on!

Flash forward to 2013: I thought it would be fun to share a selection of quotes from my old journals with you all. And yes, I recognize that this is the ultimate betrayal of trust. My younger self is probably never going to talk to me, like, ever again and she definitely won't invite me to her birthday party.

*all quotes are verbatim so expect some spelling/grammar mistakes

I present to you, Excerpts From The Journals Of A Young Caroline

On Rocking School Pictures, 2003
What's up journal? Pictures were good. I didn't show my teeth.

On Personalizing My Journal, 2005
I want to give you a name. Something pretty like Cassie. Or Hidi.

On One Of Many Great Ideas, 2002
If I had a news channel I would call it CAD news. It stands for Cute And Delightful News. Also those are my initials.

On Vandalism, 2005 
Someone threw chinese food on the window of the school and rolled the trees in the parking lot. The chinese food looked more like milk to me but hey, that's okay.

On Powerful Women, 2002
On the next page I'm going to trace a picture of Mia Hamm. I don't like soccer but all famous women are my role models.

On Dealing With An Ex, 2005
It's so awkward between me and him! In his yearbook I want to write: Let's be friends. For Real. - caroline drew

On Something That Would Take Too Long To Explain, 2003
And then we went to blockbuster and started talking in Russian accents and saying things like "What are you looking at? I'm not the one with the funny outfit!"

On The Best Gifts Ever, 2004
Christmas was great! I got tons of Abercrombie clothes, two books, a battery powered scooter and some other stuff.

On Getting Some Me Time, 2002
Listen, I'm not really in the mood to write now ok? I'll be back later.

On Life Achievements, 2005
Today I put in my earrings all by myself! It may not sound scary but putting basicly a needle through your ear is very scary the first time. This is a historical moment in my life.

On Reasons To Dislike Someone, 2003
I have the worst tap teacher. All she does is talk and we do all of our dances to rap. One day she had a bra sticking out of her dance bag!


On Honesty, 2005
Do you know what's bad and scary? Lying to my parents. Sometimes I lie to them about grades and about brushing my teeth (it's hard to remember ok!).

On Hanging Out With Boys, 2005
I want to be friends with guys. Not like a girlfriend, but just friends. 

On Technology, 2005
OMG! I got a cell phone! It's a samsung and it's so tiny! Instead of a flip phone though it slides up. I <3 it!

On My Favorite Season, 2003 
I'm gonna do an acrossic for summer!
S uper
U nbeatable season
M arvelous
M agnificent
E verlasting fun times
R adicals

On Experiences Whilst Traveling, 2004
Yesterday we bought a conch shell from a blind guy with 27 cats! I felt sorry for him. His house was in terrible shape!

On Dating, 2004
Today we went to the movies again! Just the 2 of us (and his dad).

On Pen Names, 2004
It's when an author changes their name just for the heck of it, just so they can have an unusual name. I think it's stupid. I would want people to know my name.

On Innovation, 2004
I'm going to write a list about some things recently evented.
1. Picture phones 
2. Ipods (mini and large).

That's all I can think of.

On Sharing My Journal, 2005
My mom said I should publish my journals and I said not in a million years!!!!

Clearly I peaked in the early 2000's. 

While reading through my old journals, most of what was said was ridiculous (see above) but mixed in with the silly were some rare and almost poignant thoughts my pre-teen self managed to articulate. Not bad, little me, not bad at all. For Example:

P.S. Death is scary and also it's not. 

She respects me and my opinion. We are nice and respectful to each other. I think I want all my friends to be like that.

I want to be myself and also have myself be accepted. This is hard.

My mom says when we leave places like our old house that it's just walls and a roof and that our memories are with us. Well, I tried to think that but I couldn't. 

Space Jam Revealed To Be Documentary

Almost 20 years after its original release, creators of Space Jam bring shocking news to the public: this beloved film is actually a documentary. During an exclusive press conference held this week, Space Jam Director Joe Pytka gave away the long kept secret.

Space Jam Director, Joe Pytka

"When we first made Space Jam," said Pytka, "we never thought it would get so big. It was a documentary, so we figured maybe we'd garner some awards at a few small film festivals."

But much to Pytka's surprise, the movie took off.  Space Jam would capture the heart of America, earning an impressive $90 million in the US box office.

"To say we were shocked is an understatement.  All of a sudden, we had a blockbuster on our hands."

Even more to Pytka's and the rest of the Space Jam team's surprise, viewers thought the film was entirely fabricated. The presence of characters such as Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Marvin the Martian certainly contributed to their misunderstanding. Famed NBA all star and Space Jam lead, Michael Jordan, was available for comment.

Said Jordan about the misconception, "I couldn't believe that everyone thought I was that good of an actor. If I wasn't really playing with Lola and Taz and the gang, how could it have looked so realistic?"

A scene which Jordan swears "could not have been more real"

Pytka, Jordan, and others realized that to continue the success of Space Jam it was best to agree with (and thus not correct) their audience. Pytka explained that producers were so excited about the money rolling in that they were determined to let the American people think whatever they wanted. Of course, not everyone was happy about this decision.

"That was weally wude of them," grumbled Elmer Fudd, who this reporter found lurking on the edges of the press conference. Fudd was open about his anger concerning Space Jam's perception.

"We signed on to the pwoject in hopes to get dwafted into the real NBA. But who's going to hire a 'fictional chawacter?' Nobody. Here I am, still hunting wabbits.Which, if you haven't noticed, I'm pwetty tewwible at. I can't even say wabbits wight. You know what word I can say though? Basketball."

Elmer Fudd, Displaying His Lackluster Wabbit Hunting Skills

Naturally the question on everyone's mind is, why come out with the truth now?

"I guess there's two reasons," said Pytka. "For one, I'm a critically acclaimed director. I have over fifty pieces in the New York Museum of Art. I have an Emmy and a Grammy. I've worked with Madonna, Michael Jackson, and The Beatles. And yet, I'm still not a household name. I figured this would finally push me into the spotlight." At this point, the director fluffed his flowing hair and did his signature hand to the neck pose (see picture at top).

He then continued, "Secondly, I just felt kind of bad. There was a good number of people in Hollywood who knew the truth about SJ and decided to use the same tactics to market their not-so-popular documentaries. Years later, I now see I've started an epidemic, and the American public doesn't deserve to be lied to. Maybe if I come clean, other directors will as well."

Pykta referenced a number of documentaries-turned-fictions such as: Spy Kids, Air Bud 2, Agent Cody Banks, and, more recently, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs.

The Ex-Annex Plan Makes Everyone Angry

This post begins with a story:

Once upon a time, in 2010, there was a 17 year old high school senior who had fourth period free. She spent this hour eating lunch with friends and engaging in lively conversation (mostly about English projects and how college was going to be like, so much cooler than high school).  It was during one of these lunch room discussions that the Ex-Annex Plan was born. 

The Ex-Annex Plan remained a popular debate for many fourth periods to follow and eventually, the girl and her friends decided to write down their brilliant plan.  Fortunately, I have access to this document of controversy and ingenuity.

Mainly because I was that 17 year old girl (WHAT?? Who saw that coming??).  If the Ex-Annex Plan was our Declaration of Independence, then I am Thomas Jefferson. I was the primary author of this plan...which means by the end of this post you're going to hate me.  

I present to you excerpts of the 2010 EX-ANNEX PLAN.

To whom it may concern:

Listen up citizens. It’s time we took a stand. Against who you may ask? Against half of our nation. Let’s face it- there is no way with a country of our size that we can actually have a government for and/or by the people. Said people will never be pleased when our opinions are spread across such a wide board. Luckily for you, my esteemed group of colleagues and I have a solution called the EX-ANNEX PLAN. 

First off, the EX-ANNEX PLAN is not asking for a second Civil War. No one is seceding, we are simply kicking out twenty-five states.  This will be a peaceful divergence in all aspects.  Citizens in states which are not rejected (and those in states which are) will still be able to travel across what is now the United States with ease.  Trade relations will be amicable, provided all states (accepted and rejected) cooperate with the plan.  

And now for some of the rejected states: 

Idaho:  One of our committee members actually protested when this state was declared rejected saying, "but Idaho has the potatoes!" Yes, Idaho does have potatoes. But that's it. ALL IDAHO HAS IS POTATOES. When people think of Idaho, the first (and only) thing that comes to mind is potatoes. Potatoes people. Possibly the most boring food on the entire planet. I'm getting bored just typing potatoes so many times.  You say potato, I say BORING.  The point is, Idaho (and their potatoes) are rejected. 

Alaska:  This state is simply too far away.  Why should people living next to Russia get to vote on my president? It’s unjust! Personally, I do not believe the Alaskans will be very bothered by their rejection.  They’re so far away I’m guessing that they have been making their own rules for quite some time. 

Kansas:  Being in the region of the country titled "tornado alley" means that there are numerous tornadoes here each year. If you do not know what a tornado is, I suggest watching the movie Twister...or the Wizard of Oz. Basically, tornadoes are a health risks which rip houses off the ground and crush poor, innocent, unsuspecting witches.  Our new nation will be one in which keeping your house on the ground is encouraged (and murder is discouraged, DOROTHY).

Oregon: Everyone likes to be the best at something. Everyone likes to be 'number one' in their particular area of expertise, that is just how it is. Unfortunately, Oregon is number one in forest fires. If you’re confused let me make this simple for you- fire = bad. fire + forest = worse. 

Maine:  Yes, I know Maine is pretty. And yes I know that Maine has good lobster. But we don't need them in our country. We have to be practical people. Would I like to visit on Christmas break sometime? Sure, why not. Maine, we like you we just do not need you. I hope you understand. 

North/South Dakota: Do I really have to explain the lack of culture in the Dakotas? Dare I say it, the Dakotas are more boring than Idaho.  I don't know why anyone would live in these states unless they had a severe allergy to everything not boring.

And now for some of the accepted states: 

Montana: The natural beauty found in this state is exquisite.  THE EX-ANNEX PLAN likes pretty things, like Taylor Lautner and Chace Crawford*. (*proof we wrote this in 2010) Nevada: Nevada is home to city of Las Vegas which I believe should replace Paris as the city of love. How many drive through wedding chapels do they have in Paris? I'm guessing none. As far as culture goes, Nevada has more in one city than Idaho has in a million of its potatoes. Critics might say that this is a poor selection, but we're betting on Nevada  Connecticut: This is the richest state in the nation and people love money. THE EX-ANNEX PLAN wants to make people happy. Connecticut, congratulations on being accepted (even if it is only for your money). Pennsylvania: It gives me great joy to grant acceptance to this valuable state. Pennsylvania is the home to one of the most important industries in the United States of America. I shudder to think how the nation would cope without it. As you have most likely already guessed I am referring to Hershey's Chocolate. The people have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (also known as chocolate). Mississippi: There is not a single child who goes through elementary school without learning how to spell Mississippi.  Even as I type the state's name I feel a sort of pride that I am one of the elite who manages to spell it correctly.  Moving on, there is a popular phrase in Alabama: "Thank God for Mississippi."  This phrase refers to the fact that no matter how bad your state seems, no matter how low you are ranked in demographics, Mississippi will have you beat. Someone has to be at the bottom and Mississippi does it with grace.  Minnesota: Minnesota houses the "Mall of America." Let us take a moment of silence to appreciate this......ok, now we're good. This is the BIGGEST shopping center in all of America. There are roller coasters inside. It's like heaven with price tags. Thank you Minnesota, thank you.  The moral of this story: if you want to start a heated, I mean seriously heated, debate, just pull out a map of the USA with your friends and try to kick out 25 states.  Just for fun, here's the complete list of our rejected/accepted states. Rejected states are red. Enjoy! (and please don't hate me...)  Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming (Feel free to ask if you want our silly reasoning behind any of these rejections/acceptions)